Before last night, I was trying to remember the last time Ben Affleck hosted SNL. And while specifics wouldn’t come to mind, the only thing that did stick out was his inability read cue cards smoothly. I vaguely remembered that he was just plain awful at reading them. Flash forward to his 5th time hosting (I know, I can’t believe it either), and the story is no different. While he gives it everything he’s got, he’s still just a stammering, flubbing host throughout many of his sketches. 

That’s not to say that he didn’t go a good job despite that flaw. Last night’s SNL was actually pretty darn good. It was riotously funny at times, and hilariously poignant at others. We said goodbye to some dear friends, and I can’t help but be curious about the future of SNL now that they’ve left. 

The show started off on a great foot with the cold open, something I can’t say is always the case. Kenan Thompson killed it as a defiantly stupid Al Sharpton, and the result was a hilarious, short but sweet opening to a great show. 

Ben’s monologue was mediocre, but it was boosted by a lovely visit from his darling wife Jennifer Garner. I had already forgotten about the “love is work” comment or whatever he said during his Oscar acceptance speech, but the joke still played all right. I do think it would have been amazing if they had gotten a few more specials guests for him, though. 

The predictable Argo-spoof sketch was first out of the gate, and it was not bad! The gag that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had to say “park the car in Harvard yard” before every line to find the Boston accent was hysterical. And I won’t ruin the best punchline of the entire evening for you, so watch the sketch and see for yourself. 1000+ points to Ben Affleck for that one. 

The only fauxmerical of the night was BRILLIANT. It was for Xanax for Gay Summer Weddings. And aside from being crazy accurate, it was just plain funny. The stress that you feel from attending a perfect wedding, knowing that you can’t compete? There’s Xanax for Gay Summer Weddings for that. 

The only sketch that seemed very ill-placed and subpar was a Depression-era sketch that was about…..bad people? Prostitutes? I’m still note really sure, because it was so strange. It seemed like the type of one-off weirdo sketch that would show up at the end of the night. You can skip this one unless you want to see Ben Affleck’s Jimmy Stewart impression. (Like I said, you can probably skip it.) 

One of the funnier sketches of the night was about a New Beginners camp gay teens—you know, the ‘let’s make you straight’ camps. Ben Affleck was great as the camp’s head counselor who was obviously still gay. Also, Bobby Moynihan’s killer flamboyance was to die for. But the MVP was once again my favorite person on the show, Taran Killam. I thought they were going to take it a little bit farther than they did (I would have really liked to have seen those two kiss), but it still worked for me for the most part. (This one isn’t online yet.) 

Weekend Update was the obvious highlight of the night. The amazing, incomparable, brilliantly talented Amy Poehler made her way back to the Update desk for a quick REALLY?!?! segment with Seth. And then to the delight of literally every good human being on the planet, she stuck around for the rest of Update and reprised her role as Seth’s co-anchor. It was beyond enjoyable. 

But the biggest moment from Update was of course, the final visit and farewell sendoff for our dear Stefon. This farewell was, in a word, amazing. The whole bit was perfect for Stefon, perfect for Bill Hader, and perfect for the show. I don’t really want to spoil it for you, but know that while it’s hysterically funny, it’s also pointedly sentimental, but in the best possible way. Please, do yourself a favor and watch it now. 

Ben Affleck then treated us to the Spanish accent he’s been waiting to try out in a mildly funny sketch about faking his own death. The funniest part was really just hearing Affleck talk with that accent, because the actual plot of the sketch was pretty forgettable. 

So it got to be the end of the night, and things go really good. In a strange but side-splitting sketch about cops trying to wish their daughter/niece/sister/friend a happy engagement, the standout MVP was once again Taran Killam. The joke that all these men can’t vocalize their emotions was nothing new, but the way in which they all committed to it was great. But seriously, if you don’t laugh at Killam, there’s something really wrong with you. (This sketch isn’t available online yet.)

But the real money shot was another installment of Vanessa Bayer and Cecily Strong selling luxury items (in the past it was Swarovski crystals and champagne). This time around it was Hermes handbags and MAN was it funny. I don’t think they will ever be able to top the original Swarovski crystals, but this one was pretty good. And Ben Affleck was actually pretty solid in this one too. 

The night ended with another poignant farewell. Fred Armisen, Jason Sudeikis, Bill Hader, and Taran Killam all joined in song as a Brit punk group to sing “It’s Gonna Be A Lovely Day Today.” It was at first strange, and then sad, and then lovely, and then surprise! guest stars!, and then sad again. Armisen has been on the show for 11 years! That’s kind of crazy when you think that there are only like, 3 other people who have stayed on SNL longer. His farewell song was nice, but not as emotional as it could have been. 

I don’t like Kanye West so I barely watched his performances. So there. 

That’s it for this season! SNL is now in a state of transition; Hader and Armisen are out after a decade of amazing recurring characters and memorable impressions. Sudeikis, I fear, is soon to follow, and Seth Meyers will be out of there in 2014 when he succeeds Jimmy Fallon on Late Night. I think this gives Taran Killam the room he needs to really soar (as if he hasn’t already), and for the ladies to really get more opportunities. We’ll see what happens next season. 

Try to at least muffle the sounds of your weeping by crying into your faux-tattoo sleeve t-shirt. 

Bill Hader has officially announced his departure from Saturday Night Live,  with this weekend’s finale serving as his last episode. 

What’s that you say? I can’t hear you over my sobbing. 

Not that I am not surprised—I feel like Hader’s exit was inevtiable given his rising star quality and his ability to steal the show in minor supporting roles in comedy films. It’s just that I don’t waaanntttt him to leave! With Wiig out last season and Hader out this season, I only fear that Sudeikis and Armisen are on their way out as well, and then JESUS what will that mean for the show?? I mean for goodness sake they’ve been on SNL since 2003 and 2002, respectively. 

Sorry, what? I DON’T KNOW

I CAN’T

IT’S JUST ALL THE FEELS

First things first. I CANNOT put into words how much I have been anticipating this new MJF show. Of course, like any red blooded American, I love Michael J Fox immensely. And if there’s one thing I love more than Marty McFly himself, it’s quick-witted, self-aware snark. And this show has both things going for it, so sign me the fuck up. The Michael J. Fox Show airs Thursdays this fall. 

Now let’s get to the next big show on the list: Dracula. As if this vampire tale hasn’t been told enough times already, now NBC is continuing its decision to embrace the macabre by adding Dracula to its fall lineup. This re-telling stars Jonathan Rhys Meyers as the titular vamp, and Jessica De Gouw as the infamous Mina. The trailer is intriguing enough I suppose, but having seen the track record supernatural (and period piece, to boot!) shows have had on network television (save for the occasional uber-popular show like Supernatural or Buffy), I can’t help but fear this show won’t last. Check out the trailer and decide for yourself if this vampire saga reads more cheesy than interesting. Dracula airs Friday this fall (yeah, the metaphorical graveyard of TV now has a new undead partner. Destiny.) 

The anticipation has been high—nay, practically fever pitch—for the return of SNL darling and character MVP Kristen Wiig to the famous SNL stage. 

Very reminiscent of Tina Fey’s memorable return to host, Wiig’s return was high energy, high hijinks, and a whole lotta fun. It’s always a guessing game when old SNL players return to host—will they reprise their most famous roles? Will they only do one? Or will they ignore them all together, deciding instead to leave those memorable sketches back where they belong? If you watched it last night, you’ll know it was practically an SNL loyalist’s dream grab bag of the best Wiig characters, and I couldn’t have been more delighted! The episode was funny overall, and pretty good, even if only for the sheer novelty of seeing all of our favorite Wiig characters again. 

The cold open was forgettable and sloppy, so we’ll just quickly skip over that and get to the good stuff. 

Wiig’s monologue, like so many these days, was an elaborately choreographed and hilarious musical number. It reeks of the same notes that SNL has pulled out before (Will Ferrell, specifically), but I still liked it. Coming home for SNL is always a treat. 

Aside from the returning characters Wiig pulled out of her arsenal (which we’ll get to), last night was rife with delightful fauxmercials. The first one was a spot-on ad for 1-800-Flowers, just in time for Mother’s Day, of course. Kate McKinnon is brilliantly tacky as the mom everyone knows and loves. 

The second one was a hilarious take on the increasingly wacky premises for kid shows on channels like Disney and Nickelodeon. It hit every beat perfectly, and the premise—“Aw Nuts! Mom’s a Ghost!”— was hysterical. 

Triumphant return numbero uno came from another installment of our favorite SNL soap, The Californians. Wiig uncharacteristically broke character more than a few times, but it was the best! This was an especially ridiculous Californians, and with the addition of Maya Rudolph, it was practically perfect. 

And did you really think they’d bring Wiig back and NOT have her on The Lawrence Welk Show? OF COURSE NOT. So here’s that tasty little nugget of weird for you. 

Oh, and wait for it….wait for it….Target Lady! Yes, everyone’s favorite cashier graced us last night in what I think was probably the strangest one yet. It was like she had been gone for vacation only to come back to work at Target more wound up than ever. Fitting, I guess. 

Towards the end of the night (as usual), things got weird. Wiig and Cecily Strong were comically asinine cougars in a mildly funny sketch about taking two 12 year olds on a date. Money shot: Taran Killam’s 30 second laugh riot. 

Then Wiig, Strong, and one of my favorite new additions Aidy Bryant auto-tuned their asses off in a hilariously accurate sketch about real hosuewive-type broads who make songs about nothing. YOU’RE ON BLAST!

Acupuncture gone wrong was the premise of one of my favorite sketches of the night. Was it completely ridiculous? Yes. Was it cheap sight gag comedy? Of course. But I loved it because it was so reminiscent of old school SNL. Remember the polar bear sketch with Chris Farley, Adam Sandler, Tim Meadows, Jay Mohr, and Norm? It reminded me so much of that sketch that it warmed my heart based on that familiar feeling alone. (I mean just LOOK at that thumbnail!) 

Weekend Update was a little off for the most part, that was at least until Kat and Garth made an appearance! The Fred Armisen-Kristen Wiig duo that specializes in unrehearsed, created on the fly songs about holidays is always welcome, and last night was no exception. Toward the end of Wiig’s SNL tenure, the sketch seemed tired and overdone, but it was a good choice for her return. It wasn’t the funniest edition of the sketch, but it was funny nonetheless. Love. 

Vampire Weekend sounded so lovely! They are one of my favorite bands, and they always sound just so damn delightful and cheery and happy every time they perform. Solid performances all around. 

Overall, good return Wiig! Let’s hope this is only the beginning of her returns. 

Next week is the season finale, with host Ben Affleck (!!), and Kanye West (blech). 

And because I was busy last week I did not get the chance to recap the Zach Galifianakis episode. However, I wanted to share with you my favorite sketches from that night as a token of my apologies: 

Like those fuckers had any other choice. 

Pawnee lives!!! 

Dear dear dear. This is exactly why I try not to get my expectations up. 

I love Melissa McCarthy. I really do. She’s a great actress with impeccable comedic timing, and she’s never afraid to fall face first into some zany physical comedy either. So needless to say, I was stoked for her second appearance. But as I have lamented so many times in my SNL reviews, a wonderfully talented host rendered the writers clueless. 

The show was a pretty big dud in my opinion save for two—three if I’m being generous!—sketches. Everything else was just plain unfunny. Not to mention it just seemed like something was just off about the whole episode, right from Melissa McCarthy’s first steps onto the stage. 

The cold open was TERRIBLE. SNL had been on a pretty solid cold open streak as of late, but this edition was just atrocious. You’d think they’d be able to take the natural absurdity that is Kim Jung Un and do something actually funny with it, but instead it read like they heard he said some weird stuff and they needed a timely sketch, so here it is. The end. (Also, Dennis Rodman showed up and delivered “LIVE in (not from like it’s supposed to be) New York, it’s Saturday Night!” As a total perfectionist and SNL purist, it drives me nuts that he had ONE LINE to say, and he can’t even say it right. 

The monologue. Oh my. I’m still not really sure what exactly happened. At first I wasn’t sure if McCarthy’s wobbly walk was part of the sketch or not, but once I figured out that (unfortunately) it was, I was less than thrilled. I understand wanting to use McCarthy’s knack for physical comedy to their advantage, but this was a complete miss. It seemed forced and thrown together, and it wasn’t in the least bit funny. Which is crazy because this is MELISSA MCCARTHY we’re talking about! 

Fist sketch wasn’t great either. A play on the recent outrage over the Rutgers basketball coach’s violence against players, McCarthy was a like-minded asshole of a coach. It wasn’t original, it wasn’t funny. It literally was her screaming and throwing things, not at all unlike the actual source video. And then, when it transitioned from pretaped segment to live in studio, it seemed as if Bill Hader and her were missing cue cards, as there were several long pauses and flubbed lines.  (Not to even mention that the live part of the sketch was even less funny than the pretaped portion.) Fail. 

Some spoof of Wheel of Fortune….snooze. 

We did get a nice little parody of NBC’s own The Voice. McCarthy was great as the contestant, and Kate McKinnon was a spot-on Shakira. Spot on! Overall this one was one of the very few highlights of the night.

One of the absolute best sketches of the night revolved around McCarthy as a ham aficionado at a Honey Baked Ham cook-off. It involved remixed 90s tunes and righteous dance moves and two grown men dressed up in pig costumes. It was hilarious! This is the type of stuff we need to be seeing when we’ve McCarthy as host. (This one isn’t online due to music copyright.) 

The other absolutely delightful sketch of the night came much later, and it’s a shame because it was really funny. Reminiscent of her Hidden Valley Ranch character from her first go around, this sketch had her as Barb Kellner, “The PIzza Eater,” a woman on a mission for some cash. McCarthy fucking COMMITS, and it results in a really hysterical sketch. This was something I noted the first time she hosted; unlike many other hosts that come through SNL (save for the old legends and Justin Timberlake), McCarthy puts 150% of herself into her sketches. This was no exception. 

The fauxmercial for the Bathroom Bussinessman was actually pretty funny given it’s rather elementary subject matter. 

The last sketch of the night was what I think the writers feel like the ‘last sketch of the night’ is supposed to look like. Tips and tricks for picking up the opposite sex in the 90s is a perfect premise to really run with, and yet this sketch fell flatter than almost any other one of the night. 

Weekend Update was mostly a highlight last night. Visits from Vanessa Bayer’s funny Jacob the Bar Mitzvah boy and one of my favorite recurring characters, Bobby Moynihan’s Drunk Uncle, livened things up a bit. This installment of Drunk Uncle wasn’t his best, but it gets bonus points for throwing in Game of Thrones’ Peter Dinklage, so it all evens out. Kenan’s Charles Barkley also stopped by, so there’s that. 

Phoenix sounded positively delightful! I am so excited for their new album, and they really sold me on their quasi-new sound tonight. 

Needless to say, this SNL wasn’t nearly as wonderful as her first time hosting, but I do expect to see much more of her, as even in the worst of scenarios, she’s still incredibly delightful. Next time: Vince Vaughn and Miguel! 

Now that it’s been announced that Jimmy Fallon is slated to take over The Tonight Show after Jay Leno abdicates the throne in 2014, talk has been laser focused on who should replace Fallon on Late Night.

Names are being thrown around like Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers, and John Mulaney, among others. But what about the women? Having successfully broken into the male dominated world of talk shows, female comedians like Chelsea Handler and Ellen DeGeneres have paved the way for other women to join in the talk show shenanigans. But among the discussions of what funnyman should replace Fallon in when he heads to Tonight, the names of funny ladies to take that same place are few and far between. What gives? It’s not like we’re lacking in brilliantly funny and charismatic women. There are plenty of women who could easily follow in Fallon’s footsteps and make television history, and I’ve decided to pick a few that I think would be amazing replacements. 

Kristen Wiig
Sure, she’s been increasingly busy with film roles since her departure from SNL, but I can hardly think of another woman who could be better suited for this role. She’s got a killer following thanks to 7 amazing years at Saturday Night Live, and shot to superstar status with her role in Bridesmaids. She’s wicked funny and no afraid of physical comedy, and she’s used to performing for large audiences. 

Maya Rudolph
Maya’s had her hand in a variety of different projects since leaving SNL in 2007, including indie flicks (Away We Go), blockbusters (Bridesmaids), and weekly sitcoms (Up All Night). She’s musically inclined—a trait Fallon uses on a nearly daily basis—and she’s a pro at many different impressions (let’s not forget her dead ringer Versace impersonation). Not to mention, she’s also classy as fuck. And now that Up All Night is all but dead, this would be a great new project for her. 

Chelsea Peretti
While you may not recognize this name instantly, you will definitely recognize her work. Peretti has made a name for herself in the comedy world by writing for hit comedies like The Sarah Silverman Program, Parks and Rec, and the new Comedy Central show The Kroll Show. She’s wildly inappropriate (and unashamed about it), and she is no stranger to crossing lines for the sake of a laugh. She’s also familiar with appearing on camera, having guest starred on shows like Louie and Parks and Rec. Plus, she’s got a strong background in standup with the added bonus of writing tons of killer comedy. 

Amy Poehler
Selfishly I wouldn’t really put her on this list, as taking on the task of hosting Late Night would likely cause her to leave a huge hole in my heart when she inevitably leaves Parks and Rec. However, Amy’s wackadoodle brand of zany comedy is a natural fit. I’ve also never met a single person in my entire life who has spoken ill of this woman. I would marry her and have her babies in a heartbeat. She’s got undeniable charisma and charm, and I don’t think I’ve every heard her tell a joke that didn’t land. She’d be perfect. 

Ellen
Yes, this is a long shot. I have no doubt in my mind that Ellen would ever leave her cushy (and fantastic) daytime talk show gig. After all, she’s won countless Emmys and has a following unlike any other woman on TV. That being said, she would be a flat-out natural to follow in Fallon’s footsteps. If there was ever a woman poised join the ranks of Letterman, Carson, Leno, et all, it would be her. Again, this is a long shot, but I just had to include her. It’s Ellen for crying out loud! 

Sarah Silverman
Crass? Yes. Hilarious? Of course. Silverman has had her fair share of TV shows come and go, so it would be nice to see her get one that actually stuck. Though I enjoy her unique brand of offensive humor, she might not have the built-in fanbase that ladies like Wiig or Poehler have. She is a hard pill to swallow for some, but she would give the boys of late night a run for their money when it came to down and dirty snark. 

Tina Fey
Dear Mother Fey, I bow down in your presence. This is a real long shot too, but I’d be kidding if I thought Fey wouldn’t own the shit out of a Late Night gig. She’s flawlessly brilliant, she’s fiercely witty, and she ain’t afraid of breaking through a glass ceiling or suit-wielding boys club. She can multitask better than anyone, and if she hadn’t found happiness with successful bouts as an actress, writer/producer/director, or best-selling author, the entire world would welcome her with open arms every night at 10:35. She’s the one I would most like to see in this role, but I also know that is merely but a pipedream. 

Caitlin Moran
This British gem is a wildcard. She’s crazy as fuck, but in the best possible way. She’s tangoed with Lady Gaga, she’s interviewed the Prime Minister. She’s worked her ass off writing for numerous publications, and is probably the most comfortable with interviewing subjects out of any other woman on this list. She’s also got a huge audience of Brits and Americans alike, and her tendency to skew more feminist than say, Maya Rudolph or Ellen, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Her strong opinions would be a welcome change to the monotony of a male-centric environment. 

Tig Notaro
I consider Tig Notaro to be one of the funniest women on the planet. If you haven’t seen or listened to her standup, you are why I hate most humans. She’s is honest as hell, making her comedy fresh and relatable. She’s full of sharp observations and even sharper jokes, and if dry humor is your thing, this is your lady. Notaro has worked her way up to the top ranks of the comedy world, garnering tons of appraise from a legendary set at Largo in LA. She is constantly kicking ass and taking names, and she’s got great relationships with other comedy giants in the biz, like Conan O’Brien and Louis CK. She’s beyond brilliant and beyond funny, something Late Night could really get used to. 

So what’s it gonna be? Are the ladies going to get a say in the new face of Late Night? Isn’t it about time? 

Who do you think would be a good replacement for Jimmy? 

I’m sorry, I just won’t. An in fact, I’m not even sorry. Why would I waste my time writing a recap of a show that so clearly sent home every writer and instead had the episode written by hungry raccoons? This installment of SNL was a disaster right from the get go—and I’m talking about as far back as when they announced Kevin Hart as host. 

Now, I don’t dislike Kevin Hart. Do I think he’s raelly all that funny? No, not really. But whatever. I am always open to being pleasantly surprised. The second he opened his mouth and started what I can only assume was a coke-infused monologue, I knew I was in for a bumpy ride. It’s like everyone at SNL just gave up because they knew they’d have to really bring out the big guns for next week’s visit from Justin Timberlake. I can tell you right now, if they’re going to try to avoid a straight up riot, they better get their shit in order STAT. 

So, no. I  am not going to recap the whole thing, because that would be an injustice to us all. If you are really that interested in seeing what they had to give us Saturday night, head over to the SNL web site. 

Yes? No? I am totally on the fence about this one. Willing to give it a shot, for sure. But can it hold as a legit, week-to-week television series? The trailer is excellent, and I am a fan of all parties involved here, so my hope is that this is a truly stellar program—something audiences (and NBC in particular) could really use right now. 

I don’t think anyone really had the highest of hopes for JB’s first shot at hosting SNL. That being said, I think a lot of folks probably thought he could come out swinging and pull a Bruno Mars-style surprise and actually be mostly decent. 

In a night of overly-long sketches and copious amounts of winking, Justin Bieber did the best he could. I’ll give him that. I’d venture to say that about 30% of the night’s sketches were mostly funny, if not truly wacky and brilliantly bizarre. But the other 70% was a little rough. Looking back, it just felt like Bieber was hardly even used. And when he was, he was fumbling over his words or staring straight into the camera (whether the sketch called for it or not). I was surprised that there were hardly any Justin Bieber-as-Justin-Bieber sketches (as SNL is so wont to do when a musician is also hosting), and very few musical moments as well. Maybe they realized that he just couldn’t really cut it? I mean, sometimes watching his read off the cue cards was just plain painful. 

The cold open played to the hilarious and obviously ridiculous NFL commentators’ awful attempts at keeping the show going during the Super Bowl blackout. I thought this was pretty funny, but mostly because that’s exactly how I feel EVERY NFL game goes with those commentators. It did drag on a bit, but overall it was a good start to the night. 

Bieber’s monologue was surprisingly (mostly) non-musical. Running gag was Valentine’s Day + Black History Month + Justin’s own stupidity. It was a little dull, and several of the jokes just flat out didn’t land, but it wasn’t absolutely terrible either. 

We were treated to another installment of The Californians, one of my favorite recurring sketches of the past several years. This installment wasn’t nearly as funny overall as some of the previous ones, but the end with Bill Hader is flat out PRICELESS. So so good. 

There was a Grease-like sketch that I really thought had the potential to be a hit, but it instead ended up being one of those really weird sketches without the added bonus of also being insanely hilarious. The joke was he was really, really dumb, and really, really young. But that’s about it. 

One of the best sketches of the night was one that actually did use Bieber as himself. It featured pretty much the whole cast dressed up to act as body doubles for Justin. This sketch was flat out hilarious and featured the best throwaway joke of the night from Jason Sudeikis. BEST. (This sketch also saw the return of Kate McKinnon as Ellen, which both made me super happy and also bummed as I realized that she is being severely underused on SNL right now.) Unfortunately, this sketch is currently unavailable via NBC online. (Which is ridiculous because it’s hysterical.) BUT, here are some GIFs to give you a little taste. 

The Miley Cyrus Show made an appearance last night after a long absence, but instead of being a hysterical interaction between Vanessa Bayer’s Miley and Justin Bieber as himself, SNL gave JB the opportunity to not-so-vaguely comment on his real-life headlines (re: getting caught smoking pot). Sadly, I feel like this was a pretty big missed opportunity for some real laughs. 

One of my favorites from the night was a sketch that featured MVP Taran Killam as an overly-protective and idiotic brother. He was BEYOND in it to win it; Killam took what could have easily been a flat, one-joke sketch and turned it into a funny, one-joke sketch that had me flat out laughing out loud. Like many others last night, this sketch ran a little long, but with Killam I really didn’t mind. 

Jay Pharaoh’s Principal Frye sketch returned last night as well. I have never been a fan of this sketch, so the fact that it has been deemed good enough to be in the recurring sketch arsenal still baffles me. This installment was just as lame as pretty much every other one. 

Really taking advantage of the proximity to Valentine’s Day, we got a weird fauxmercial featuring Bieber as himself, cooing to the camera about what a sexy Valentine’s Day was in store for him and you. Insert Bobby Moynihan as a crazy infantile roommate and you’ve got a real WTF sketch. 

Lame fauxmercial about dumb Bravo shows featuring people who don’t even matter. That joke is old hat and I really expect better from SNL. 

Weekend Update was back in good form last night. Seth was particularly feisty and the guests were actually good ones. The ‘best friends of a dictator’ gag has gotten a little long in the tooth, and they’ve definitely had better visits from them, but it was mostly funny nonetheless. But the best part of WU was Kenan as ‘the one black guy from every commercial.’ This bit was original, hilarious, and fucking spot on. It’s accurate because he’s “cool but non-threatening.” BEST. 

I didn’t watch Bieber’s musical performances. So there’s that. 

Whew. Feels good to have gotten this Bieber shit over with. Upwards and onwards! 

I am REALLY looking forward to next week’s visit from Christoph Waltz and Alabama Shakes! 

The finale will be a 1-hour installment to send the series off into the sunset.  Tissues, please. 

Color me fucking excited! 

SNL announced today that the brilliant Christoph Waltz will be taking on hosting duties on Feb. 16! If there is anyone who can pull off the scariest Nazi this side of Schindler’s List AND be more charming than I know what to do with, it’s this guy. Musical duties for that night will fall to the excellent Alabama Shakes, whom I also love. 

What a great show this has the potential to be! 

With only a handful of episodes left before the series finale (sob), the folks over at The Office are pulling out all the stops, bringing in another high-profile guest star in none other than Roseanne Barr. She’ll reportedly play a talent agent with hopes of helping Andy achieve his showbiz dreams. That is, if he’s ever coming back. Personally, if Erin and Pete got together now and Andy never came back, I’d be fine with that. 

I am not on the Adam Levine bandwagon. I was once, but I’m not a 17 year old girl anymore. And as he’s become increasingly present in everyday pop culture—The Voice, digital shorts, American Horror Story—I have discovered that he is, in fact, just not very likable. So you’ll understand if this review is a little biased; I didn’t expect much from him tonight, and I got exactly what I predicted. 

The opening sketch had potential: the ghost of MLK Jr. visits President Obama on the night of his inauguration. But instead of discussing important issues regarding the future of our country, MLK just wanted to discuss Beyonce. Not a terrible idea, but it basically had 3 silly punchlines amid Jay Pharaoh doing his best to try to keep me (and probably himself) from falling asleep). 

The monologue was a play on Levine’s role on The Voice, with spinning chairs revealing various (and random) celebrities dishing advice for how to be a good SNL host. First up: Andy Samberg, which was obviously a very welcome treat for myself. Then Cameron Diaz showed up in the next chair, and blech. And in the third chair was Jerry Seinfeld, and double blech. The whole monologue was relatively amusing (mostly Samberg’s lines), but it definitely set the tone for the whole show: Levine is dry, flat, and has zero stage presence. Even when he tries to make a joke—one that actually works—it comes off as kind of mean-spirited and condescending. That may just be his voice, but his delivery does nothing to help matters. He seems as if he’s over all of it, that he’s too cool for jokes. If you’re going to be on SNL, you’re going to have to have more energy. This demeanor lasted through the entire show, so you can see why I was more than disappointed. 

We got two funny fauxmercials last night. The first of which was a commercial for Rosetta Stone which paints the picture of uber-creeps using the software to learn Thai so they can go to Thailand for unmentionable things. Ew. But funny execution. 

The second was an advertisement for The Soprano Diaries, a play on the CW’s new show The Carrie Diaries. It was well done and funny, really nailing the personalties of the original characters while thrusting them into 80s situations. I particularly liked the argument between Tony and Carmela. 

The first real sketch of the night was called Circle Work. A gay talk show where the two hosts talk to straight people and give them gay solutions for their problems. Their solutions? Everyone is gay. This was the most personality Levine had in the entire night. There were a few mildly comical lines in this one, but overall it seemed kind of tired. 

My favorite sketch of the night was also one of the most bizarre: It’s a firehouse recruiting event and Bill Hader is a hysterical ex-boyfriend of a girl in attendance. The whole gag was his shrill screaming and over-the-top attitude, but in Hader’s hands it was pure magic. 

To no one’s surprise, the boys from The Lonely Island were back tonight with a new digital short! Called “Yolo,” the premise is similar to a sketch SNL has already done: yes, you only live once, so don’t do anything fun. ANYTHING. This was in no way as good as TLI/Levine’s first short “I Ran” which was just so fucking good. The lyrics weren’t quite up to par, the idea was a retread of something they had already touched on, and honestly, the idea of jumping on the YOLO bandwagon now just seems lazy. 

Weekend Update was hardcore weak last night. Both special guests, Nasim Pedrad’s Ariana Huffington and Kenan Thompson’s Ray Lewis were fine, not great. (Pedrad has definitely had funnier material for her Huffington before.) But Seth’s jokes just weren’t cutting it. They all seemed half-formed, lazy attempts at jokes. I think I only thought like 1 joke was genuinely hilarious. 

Jumping on the faux-beau bandwagon, one of the last sketches of the night was a parody of the new MTV show Catfish. I would say that besides the Circle Work sketch, this was the only other time that I thought Levine actually tried. He did a decent job as the narcissistic host of the show and Aidy Bryant as usual killed it. The first half of the sketch was really pretty solid, but it’s like the really didn’t know how to wrap it up and it ended pretty lamely. 

And two of the weirdest (dumbest?) sketches came at the very end of the show. The first was some weird sketch that had Adam Levine as himself (I’m honestly surprised they only employed that once), having been taken home by a woman after his show. Bobby Moynihan as a vulgar woman has potential, but the sketch was SO clearly kept in just to kill time, it barely even seemed like an idea.

And the Biden Bash sketch featured a party to be thrown by the VP, one in which there would be all matters of ridiculous things. Jason Sudeikis is always great with his Biden, but this wasn’t really up to snuff either.

Kendrick Lamar was Kendrick Lamar, I guess? I don’t even really remember his performances, but I feel like I remember them being boring.

Now we have a few weeks to brace ourselves for the Feb. 9th episode that will be Bieberpocalypse. God help us. 

Community returns February 7. I’d be overly excited if I wasn’t forever afraid that NBC was playing yet another mean prank on all of us and is really not ever going to air Community again. 

I have issues. 

Deal with it. 

If that is indeed NOT the case, enjoy these first looks at the season 4 premiere! Welcome back Greendale gang!