2014 OSCARS Recap: Best and Worst Dressed, the Highs, The Lows, and that selfie!
The Oscars have officially came and went, but that doesn’t mean we’re not about to all dissect the shit out of one of the most viewed telecasts in the world.
Let’s start with some of the highs of the night, shall we?
High: That fucking selfie. No seriously. It was a total gimmick for Samsung, but I don’t even CARE. It was glorious and you know it.
High: Everyone dancing with Pharrell. If those kids weren’t spectacular enough, when Pharrell and his big hat (#hatsback) made their way down to the audience, the likes of Lupita Nyong’o, Amy Adams, and fucking Meryl Streep all got a little boogie on. It was awesome.
High: Matthew McConaughey’s acceptance speech. It was quintessential McConaughey, but it was lovely. It was well thought out and not over the top philosophical, and it was touching beyond belief. Never in a million years did I think the guy who won Kate Hudson’s heart in How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days would win an Oscar. But here we are. AND he said ‘all right, all right, all right’ and that was the best. AND!! My Alma Mater (and McConaughey’s) lit up our ivory tower burnt orange in celebration of his win! So DEAL WITH THAT! #texasforever
High: Bill Murray at everything. Seriously, though. It is no secret I would marry Bill right this second if he asked me, so I may be a little biased. But from his entrance on the red carpet, to his adorable green bowtie, to his touching (and funny) off-script tribute to the late Harold Ramis, to his weird fist pumps and head nods when the camera cut to him all night, he was perfect. PERFECT.
High: BETTE MIDLER. And then she sang “The Wind Beneath My Wings” and everyone just wept forever.
High: These winners: LUPITA!!! 12 Years a Slave, Alfonso Cuaron, “Let it Go,” Cate Blanchett, AND NONE FOR AMERICAN HUSTLE! Ha.
Watch Lupita’s exceptional acceptance speech below.
High: Karen O and Ezra Koenig perform “Moon Song.” DE-fucking-LIGHTFUL. I mean.
High: Darlene Love shows us what’s up. That girl can get it, forever and ever.
High: Cate Blanchett says what all of us females are thinking about how terribly discriminatory film still is against women in lead roles. PREACH SISTER.
Low: All the teleprompter fails. Though I lover her, Ellen had quite a few. But no one—NO ONE—was as bad as John ‘Hair Plugs’ Travolta. Poor Idina Menzel.
Low: The imbalanced hero montages. I was so excited when I heard the theme of this year’s telecast would be about heroes in cinema—everyday, supernatural, magical, whatever. But the execution of this “theme” was poorly done. The montages seemed to miss so many crucial (and in my opinion, obvious) characters throughout the years, and it was painfully obvious just how gender imbalanced film still is. For every one female character showcased, there were 5 male roles in the spotlight. No Dorothy? Or Hermione? No Bette Davis or Vivien Leigh or Natalie Wood? Or Dr. Ellie Sattler? Shame.
Low: Jared Leto’s mention of Venezuela and Ukraine. Just save that crap for another time. I know it’s not an Oscars without someone making a political stand, but Jared. You’re in 30 Seconds to Mars. No. (For the record, the rest of his speech was amazing.)
Low: That half-assed Wizard of Oz “tribute.” When I heard they were doing a tribute for the 75th anniversary of The Wizard of Oz—my favorite movie of all time—I was ecstatic. When I realized that the only thing they were doing as far as a tribute goes was to have P!nk—yes, THAT P!nk—sing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” I was heartbroken. Not only do I not think she was the right choice for that song, but she didn’t do a great job at all. That song requires a powerhouse of vocals, and it would have done do much better in the hands of say, Adele, Florence Welsh, even Kelly Clarkson. And the fact that Judy Garland’s kids were all in attendance and didn’t say or do anything to honor their mother’s legacy or the film’s, well that just seems like a damn waste.
BEST AND WORST DRESSED
To be honest, everyone was pretty stellar last night. Very few worst dressed on my list this year.
Full winners list:
Best supporting actor
Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips
Bradley Cooper, American Hustle
Michael Fassbender, 12 Years a Slave
Jonah Hill, The Wolf of Wall Street
WINNER: Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club
Best costume design
Michael Wilkinson, American Hustle
William Chang Suk Ping, The Grandmaster
WINNER: Catherine Martin, The Great Gatsby
Michael O’Connor, The Invisible Woman
Patricia Norris, 12 Years a Slave
Best makeup and hairstyling
WINNERS: Adruitha Lee and Robin Mathews, Dallas Buyers Club
Stephen Prouty, Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa
Joel Harlow and Gloria Pasqua-Casny, The Lone Ranger
Best short film (animated)
Get a Horse!
WINNER: Mr Hublot
Room on the Broom
Best visual effects
Aquel No Era Yo (That Wasn’t Me)
Avant Que De Tout Perdre (Just before Losing Everything)
Pitääkö Mun Kaikki Hoitaa? (Do I Have to Take Care of Everything?)
The Voorman Problem
Best documentary short
Karama Has No Walls
WINNER: The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life
Prison Terminal: The Last Days of Private Jack Hall
Best foreign film
Best sound mixing
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Inside Llewyn Davis
Best sound editing
Best supporting actress
Sally Hawkins, Blue Jasmine
Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle
WINNER: Lupita Nyong’o, 12 Years a Slave
Julia Roberts, August: Osage County
June Squibb, Nebraska
Dallas Buyers Club
12 Years a Slave
Best production design
WINNER: Catherine Martin, Beverley Dunn, The Great Gatsby
12 Years a Slave
Best original score
Best original song
Alone Yet Not Alone, Alone Yet Not Alone [disqualified]
Happy, Despicable Me 2
WINNER: Let It Go, Frozen
The Moon Song, Her
Ordinary Love, Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Best adapted screenplay
Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy, Ethan Hawke, Before Midnight
Billy Ray, Captain Phillips
Steve Coogan and Jeff Pope, Philomena
WINNER: John Ridley, 12 Years a Slave
Terence Winter, The Wolf of Wall Street
Best original screenplay
Eric Warren Singer and David O Russell, American Hustle
Woody Allen, Blue Jasmine
Craig Borten and Melisa Wallack, Dallas Buyers Club
WINNER: Spike Jonze, Her
Bob Nelson, Nebraska
David O Russell, American Hustle
WINNER: Alfonso Cuarón, Gravity
Alexander Payne, Nebraska
Steve McQueen, 12 Years a Slave
Martin Scorsese, The Wolf of Wall Street
Christian Bale, American Hustle
Bruce Dern, Nebraska
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Wolf of Wall Street
Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years a Slave
WINNER: Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club