2014 OSCARS Recap: Best and Worst Dressed, the Highs, The Lows, and that selfie!
The Oscars have officially came and went, but that doesn’t mean we’re not about to all dissect the shit out of one of the most viewed telecasts in the world.
Let’s start with some of the highs of the night, shall we?
High: That fucking selfie. No seriously. It was a total gimmick for Samsung, but I don’t even CARE. It was glorious and you know it.
High: Everyone dancing with Pharrell. If those kids weren’t spectacular enough, when Pharrell and his big hat (#hatsback) made their way down to the audience, the likes of Lupita Nyong’o, Amy Adams, and fucking Meryl Streep all got a little boogie on. It was awesome.
High: Matthew McConaughey’s acceptance speech. It was quintessential McConaughey, but it was lovely. It was well thought out and not over the top philosophical, and it was touching beyond belief. Never in a million years did I think the guy who won Kate Hudson’s heart in How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days would win an Oscar. But here we are. AND he said ‘all right, all right, all right’ and that was the best. AND!! My Alma Mater (and McConaughey’s) lit up our ivory tower burnt orange in celebration of his win! So DEAL WITH THAT! #texasforever
High: Bill Murray at everything. Seriously, though. It is no secret I would marry Bill right this second if he asked me, so I may be a little biased. But from his entrance on the red carpet, to his adorable green bowtie, to his touching (and funny) off-script tribute to the late Harold Ramis, to his weird fist pumps and head nods when the camera cut to him all night, he was perfect. PERFECT.
High: BETTE MIDLER. And then she sang “The Wind Beneath My Wings” and everyone just wept forever.
High: These winners: LUPITA!!! 12 Years a Slave, Alfonso Cuaron, “Let it Go,” Cate Blanchett, AND NONE FOR AMERICAN HUSTLE! Ha.
Watch Lupita’s exceptional acceptance speech below.
High: Karen O and Ezra Koenig perform “Moon Song.” DE-fucking-LIGHTFUL. I mean.
High: Darlene Love shows us what’s up. That girl can get it, forever and ever.
High: Cate Blanchett says what all of us females are thinking about how terribly discriminatory film still is against women in lead roles. PREACH SISTER.
Low: All the teleprompter fails. Though I lover her, Ellen had quite a few. But no one—NO ONE—was as bad as John ‘Hair Plugs’ Travolta. Poor Idina Menzel.
Low: The imbalanced hero montages. I was so excited when I heard the theme of this year’s telecast would be about heroes in cinema—everyday, supernatural, magical, whatever. But the execution of this “theme” was poorly done. The montages seemed to miss so many crucial (and in my opinion, obvious) characters throughout the years, and it was painfully obvious just how gender imbalanced film still is. For every one female character showcased, there were 5 male roles in the spotlight. No Dorothy? Or Hermione? No Bette Davis or Vivien Leigh or Natalie Wood? Or Dr. Ellie Sattler? Shame.
Low: Jared Leto’s mention of Venezuela and Ukraine. Just save that crap for another time. I know it’s not an Oscars without someone making a political stand, but Jared. You’re in 30 Seconds to Mars. No. (For the record, the rest of his speech was amazing.)
Low: That half-assed Wizard of Oz “tribute.” When I heard they were doing a tribute for the 75th anniversary of The Wizard of Oz—my favorite movie of all time—I was ecstatic. When I realized that the only thing they were doing as far as a tribute goes was to have P!nk—yes, THAT P!nk—sing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” I was heartbroken. Not only do I not think she was the right choice for that song, but she didn’t do a great job at all. That song requires a powerhouse of vocals, and it would have done do much better in the hands of say, Adele, Florence Welsh, even Kelly Clarkson. And the fact that Judy Garland’s kids were all in attendance and didn’t say or do anything to honor their mother’s legacy or the film’s, well that just seems like a damn waste.
BEST AND WORST DRESSED
To be honest, everyone was pretty stellar last night. Very few worst dressed on my list this year.
Full winners list:
Best supporting actor
Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips
Bradley Cooper, American Hustle
Michael Fassbender, 12 Years a Slave
Jonah Hill, The Wolf of Wall Street
WINNER: Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club
Best costume design
Michael Wilkinson, American Hustle
William Chang Suk Ping, The Grandmaster
WINNER: Catherine Martin, The Great Gatsby
Michael O’Connor, The Invisible Woman
Patricia Norris, 12 Years a Slave
Best makeup and hairstyling
WINNERS: Adruitha Lee and Robin Mathews, Dallas Buyers Club
Stephen Prouty, Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa
Joel Harlow and Gloria Pasqua-Casny, The Lone Ranger
Best short film (animated)
Get a Horse!
WINNER: Mr Hublot
Room on the Broom
Best visual effects
Aquel No Era Yo (That Wasn’t Me)
Avant Que De Tout Perdre (Just before Losing Everything)
Pitääkö Mun Kaikki Hoitaa? (Do I Have to Take Care of Everything?)
The Voorman Problem
Best documentary short
Karama Has No Walls
WINNER: The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life
Prison Terminal: The Last Days of Private Jack Hall
Best foreign film
Best sound mixing
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Inside Llewyn Davis
Best sound editing
Best supporting actress
Sally Hawkins, Blue Jasmine
Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle
WINNER: Lupita Nyong’o, 12 Years a Slave
Julia Roberts, August: Osage County
June Squibb, Nebraska
Dallas Buyers Club
12 Years a Slave
Best production design
WINNER: Catherine Martin, Beverley Dunn, The Great Gatsby
12 Years a Slave
Best original score
Best original song
Alone Yet Not Alone, Alone Yet Not Alone [disqualified]
Happy, Despicable Me 2
WINNER: Let It Go, Frozen
The Moon Song, Her
Ordinary Love, Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Best adapted screenplay
Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy, Ethan Hawke, Before Midnight
Billy Ray, Captain Phillips
Steve Coogan and Jeff Pope, Philomena
WINNER: John Ridley, 12 Years a Slave
Terence Winter, The Wolf of Wall Street
Best original screenplay
Eric Warren Singer and David O Russell, American Hustle
Woody Allen, Blue Jasmine
Craig Borten and Melisa Wallack, Dallas Buyers Club
WINNER: Spike Jonze, Her
Bob Nelson, Nebraska
David O Russell, American Hustle
WINNER: Alfonso Cuarón, Gravity
Alexander Payne, Nebraska
Steve McQueen, 12 Years a Slave
Martin Scorsese, The Wolf of Wall Street
Christian Bale, American Hustle
Bruce Dern, Nebraska
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Wolf of Wall Street
Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years a Slave
WINNER: Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club
2014 GOLDEN GLOBES Recap: Tina & Amy, GIFS galore, Best & Worst Dressed, and more!
The Globies were in full force last night—booze! hot dogs! vagina jokes!—and it was one of the weirder, more fun events in years.
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler predictably fucking killed it. They just owned the shit out of the whole night. Jokes were spot on, bits were too, and they looked amazing. All in all, another successful night of hosting under their belts.
The night was full of weird speeches, barefoot actresses, and strange actor cutaways from the camera team. Below are some of the best moments from the show (some that you saw and some that you didn’t!):
When Idris Elba was flawless and swoon-worthy by doing this right at us:
When Aaron Paul gave us what might be one of the last YEAH BITCHes ever:
When the camera cut to the Boring Sisters. SNOOOOOOZEEE
Also THIS, when Seth was SO EXCITED to see his friend Andy Samberg win for Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
And then Jennifer Lawrence kissed her boo Nichols Hoult, and everyone’s hearts just exploded:
Don’t we all want to be her?
This face happened on the red carpet. It happened real hard:
Oh, and when Diane Keaton was FLAWLESS:
And then when Amy Poehler finally one a Globe for her unrivaled work on Parks and Rec (and made out with Bono):
And at the after-parties, Benedict Cumberbatch and Michael Fassbender had a tiny dance party. I’M SERIOUS. It was amazing, clearly:
Remember when Bono was like, so NOT having it when Diddy tried to hug him?
Basically everything Tina and Amy did. Ever.
And now onto the fashion!
BEST DRESSED has to go to 12 Years a Slave’s Lupita Nyong’o. I MEAN. WHAT. Is she even of this earth?
Lupita Nyong’o - Beyond breathtaking.
And the rest of the best:
Emma Watson - FLAWLESS.
Amy Adams - keeping the titties alive since the 70s.
LIzzie Caplan - her hair could have been much better, but THIS DRESS.
And the WORST DRESSED goes to:
She usually knocks it out of the park. What in the hell is this?
The rest of the worst:
I’m sorry, are you a teacher? A librarian? What is this? Toss the oxford shirt and the dress would have been simple but still pretty.
We are all tired of your princess act Kaley. Try something different.
This suits her pretty well in that it’s tacky and kind of annoying to look at.
There were a few ‘mehs’, too. These looks fall into the ‘I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t love it either’ category:
She’s worn worse, and she’s worn better. I like it, and the idea of a crop top formal gown, but it’s just okay.
I actually didn’t mind this one that much. It’s pretty. Almost too plain, but still nice.
She would have been a real knockout in this color if she had kept her hair red. With that blonde ‘do she gets washed out in this champagne number.
I don’t hate it. I don’t love it. I think she’s just saving up her real killers for the SAG Awards and the Oscars.
I like it a lot, but the longer I look at it the more I think it looks too stiff.
She has done SO well in the past. I think this is too old, too slouchy in the butt, too plain. She can do better, and I’m sure she will at the Oscars.
Watch the stunning new full-length trailer for X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST
I’m going to have goosebumps for the rest of the day.
Watch the first full-length trailer for Bryan Singer’s X-Men: Days of Future Past below, and try to imagine a world in which this film turns out as magnificent as this trailer, even at the hands of Singer.
Like many of you, I was beyond disappointed when Singer was announced to take the helm of the series, out of the hands of the very talented and capable Matthew Vaughn. X-Men: First Class was an astonishing return to the world of X-Men after the atrocity that was X-Men: The Last Stand. It brought light back to this franchise and gave us hope that this reboot would give us the dark and twisted origin stories we have so craved.
After seeing this trailer I am at least far less skeptical of Singer’s abilities. This trailer made me tear of for Christ’s sake. The premise seems interesting and the core cast is once again stellar.
I will just keep watching this over and over today and marveling at how lovely it all is. I hope you do the same.
X-Men: Days of Future Past hits theaters May 23rd, 2014.
Brand new THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE trailer
Me: EVERYBODY CHILL OUT.
Internet: BUT WE CAN’T OMGZZZZ HUNGER GAMESSSSSS
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire debuted one final trailer last night during World Series Game 4 and I think it made the Internet explode.
It’s jampacked with intensity and ominous Donald Sutherland narration, so it must be good.
It looks better than the first installment, IMO. Maybe I’ll actually see this one in theaters.
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire hits theaters November 22.
Jennifer Lawrence, Christian Bale, Amy Adams, and Bradley Cooper shine in AMERICAN HUSTLE trailer
Holy 1970s Batman!
David O. Russell is at it again. Check out the trailer for American Hustle starring Silver Linings Playbook co-stars Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence, as well as heavy-hitters (and The Fighter co-stars) Christian Bale and Amy Adams.
The story revolves around “around a notorious financial con artist (Bale) and his mistress/partner in crime (Adams), who were forced to work with a rogue federal agent (Cooper) to turn the tables on mobsters and politicians.”
The trailer is fantastically vintage and looks flat out awesome. Count on this one to get Oscar noms galore if it’s any good. And Russell usually delivers outstanding films, and with a cast like this, I can’t see this one being anything less than wonderful.
American Hustle hits theaters this December.
2013 Oscars Recap: Best and Worst Dressed, Seth MacFarlane’s take, and more!
Overall, I was pretty pleased with last night’s telecast. I thought MacFarlane did relatively well, surprising me immensely, as I really figured he would flat out bomb the whole thing. Was he fantastic? No, of course not. Was he a bit racist and maybe even a bit sexist? Sure. But I try to ignore those in the sake of an ignorance-is-bliss mindset, so let’s just move on.
Nevertheless, I have outlined my stray observations from the show last night below. Feel free to disagree.
1) So many musical numbers!! The opening stuff was actually pretty entertaining. (Yes, even the ‘We Saw Your Boobs’ song. The Kate Winslet part was HILARIOUS.)
2) When Harry Potter and Joseph Gordon-Levitt came out and danced together, I really thought they were trying to break my brain. TOO MUCH CUTE.
4) Like I said, I thought the show went relatively smoothly for presenters and Seth Macfarlane alike. The only bit that was a total disaster was when the cast of The Avengers tried to be funny. I mean, what was that? Also, did anyone else notice Samuel L. Jackson call Jeremy Renner ‘Roberts?’ TWICE?
5) Okay, you may disagree, but I thought the Sound of Music call out to introduce Christopher Plummer was hysterical. Racy, sure, but hilarious nonetheless.
6) I DIE: Melissa McCarthy and Paul Rudd’s riotous presentation. That’s how it’s supposed to be done, everyone.
7) The first time it showed Jack Nicholson, it looked like he was asleep and had just woken up and gone, “WHERE AM I?” (Not that I care because he can do no wrong, but still.)
8) ARGO!! Thought it seemed like he was on crack, I was so glad that Ben Affleck got to accept the award for Best Picture after being unfairly shut out of the Best Director category.
9) There sure seemed to be a lot of Chicago love last night, right?
10) Ang Lee? Really?
11) Also, surely you guys noticed that there were several long, white-haired men winning awards. It was like a Gandalf look-alike convention had stormed the ceremony. That, or they’re all vampires.
12) I hate that they paired Daniel Radcliffe with Kristen Stewart, but I was beyond ecstatic that they chose to score their entrance to the Harry Potter music. BOOM.
13) Speaking of Kristen Stewart, what the fuck? Every time she reappeared she looked more and more disheveled. I mean, we all know she probably just came off some really important BJs backstage, trying to lock down her next role, but STILL. Get it together, bitch.
14) The music!! Film scores are one of my absolute favorite things in the entire world, so I was delighted that last night’s ceremony was rife with beautiful musical interludes. What I thought was really awful, though, was that the Jaws music was used to play some people off. NO. The only person that would have been acceptable for was that wretch Anne Hathaway. What a missed opportunity.
15) A celebration of 50 years of Bond = snooooooooooooooooooze.
16) When Jack Nicholson was introducing the nominees for Best Picture and he accidentally said “Sorry” after Life of Pi…”Life of Pi, sorry” is now on a constant loop in my head when I need a good giggle.
17) Quentin Tarantino was fucking COKED OUT. His acceptance speech was totally typical Tarantino, yes, but also so totally bizarre. And WHAT was that leather tie? No.
18) Has Catherine Zeta-Jones aged at all? She rocked that Chicago number as if it were 2002, bitches!
20) I’m sorry, but Jennifer Lawrence just needs to win all the things from now on. She is just the fucking BEST. BEST. (I mean, just watch her totally call out all the stupid questions the press asked her after she won.)
And now on to what you all really came here for: Best and Worst Dressed! To be quite honest, everyone really stepped it up last night. My Worst list is awfully short. Good job, everyone!
Behold my fashion opinions:
Jennifer Lawrence, Christoph Waltz, Amy Adams stop by Between Two Ferns: Oscar Edition
Jennifer Lawrence’s charm isn’t enough to save a mediocre SNL
I love Jennifer Lawrence. I really do. Even despite my hatred for all things Hunger Games, I love this chick. She’s charming, intelligent, normal, humble, down to earth, and funny as hell. So I was delighted when I first heard she would be making her SNL debut this month. And while one could hope that JLaw’s fierce charm would be enough to salvage a less-than-awesome Saturday Night Live, this simply wasn’t the case last night.
Don’t get me wrong, the episode definitely had some laugh out loud moments for me. But overall, it was pretty sloppy. Bad jokes, lazy sketch concepts, underutilization of a great host—you know, the usual stuff.
The night started off with a good Piers Morgan opening sketch that gave us some material on Lance Armstrong and Manti T’eo. Taran Killam’s Piers Morgan is always really top notch, and aside from a bumpy start, the majority of the sketch’s jokes landed pretty well.
Departing from the predictable musical monologues that SNL is so very fond of, last night’s monologue featured Lawrence ripping apart her fellow Oscar nominees while trying to make a grumpy Bill Hader as Tommy Lee Jones try to laugh. It was…weird, to say the least. Not that I think anyone took her “insults” seriously, but I still felt like the nature of the monologue was in really poor taste. Not to mention, her “insults” weren’t even funny. If you’re going to do a mock-vicious monologue, at least do it right. This just came off as lame and mean, two things Jennifer Lawrence most definitely is not.
One of the first sketches of the night was the return of a sketch that I thought was truly funny the first time around, Girlfriend Talk Show. It wasn’t nearly as funny this time, but just like the first installment, the MVP of this sketch was Aidy Bryant, just straight up killing it.
There was a quick fauxmercial for the Starbucks Verismo machine. And aside from it maybe reading a little bit racist, it was pretty hysterical. Simple enough premise, but it worked well enough.
There was another fauxmercial, this one advertising the next 18 installments of The Hobbit. Again, pretty simple (if not lazy) premise for a sketch, but this one was kind of a dud. The only part I laughed at was when they started listing off all of the janky sequels, like Look Who’s Hobbit Now and The Hobbit: Back in the Hood.
I really REALLY wanted to get out of this episode without a Hunger Games sketch. It’s so OBVIOUS. But alas, this was not meant to be. Of course there was a Hunger Games sketch, and as I could have predicted, it wasn’t very funny. The biggest laugh came from the very last seconds in which the butt of the joke was Peeta’s height. (Had they focused the whole bit around Peeta’s height, it could have been a bit more original and funny, in my opinion.)
The B-108 morning show sketch wasn’t bad. This was pretty much the only time throughout the whole night in which Jennifer Lawrence anchored the funniest parts of the sketch.
One of the only other sketches in which Lawrence had the most punchlines was one set in a 50’s diner in which the experience involved the waitstaff being “mean” to their customers (think Dick’s Last Resort, but not as mean-spirited). It dragged on for a bit before getting to the point, which was that Lawrence’s character wasn’t big on the jokey insults, but more into the actual hurtful insults. It played fine, but it was only mildly funny at best.
There was a truly bizarre sketch toward the end of the night about a couple exchanging letters during the Civil War. It was, in a word, horrible.
Not to be upstaged by true awfulness, though, was a short about a porn film called Danielle. At first, I thought it had promise, but it quickly fell apart into something more than absurd (and not in a good way).
Weekend Update seemed dialed down for some reason this week. It was funny enough, but the usually hilarious visit from Bobby Moynihan’s Anthony Crispino character wasn’t really up to par either, making this week’s news installment merely mediocre.
But one of my favorites of the night had to be Top Dog Chef. It was one of those beautiful SNL sketches that is a real rollercoaster of WTF? to hilarious to ROFLing to wait, what!? It had some really funny moments. And it was just SO WEIRD.
The Lumineers were fantastic. I’d say they were probably one of the best musical guests SNL has had on in a long time. Both songs were a delight to watch, and they sounded amazing. More like that please!
Next week is Adam Levine with musical guest Kendrick Lamar. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t know who either of those people were.