What a snooze fest. If I seem a bit more reticent this week it’s only because I truly, honestly don’t have that much to say for this episode (or I forgot it because it was not memorable in the slightest). 

And let me just preface this review by telling you that I don’t really like Daniel Craig. I don’t actively hate him like, say, Anne Hathaway or Kristen Stewart, but he just does NOTHING for me. I’m very meh about him. But anyway…

Debate cold open, obviously. It was mildy funny, but overall pretty stale. 

Craig’s monologue was, among being not very funny, pretty weird. The In Memoriam of all the guys he’s “done killed” is kind of a funny premise, but the execution was pretty lame. His monologue began what was the overall trend of the episode, which was Jokes From Daniel Craig That Totally Didn’t Land. He made a few little jokes here and there in the monologue, but they didn’t take whatsoever. (This clip isn’t online.)

There was a REALLY weird space shuttle sketch that involved Bobby Moynihan (looking creepily similar to Chris Farley) as a fellow, childlike crew member who had brought his kitten on board. It wasn’t in the slightest bit funny. That’s pretty much it.

The sketch with the construction workers who made terrible, terrible puns when catcalling women that walked by was very mildly humorous. But like much of the night’s sketches, the weakest link was Daniel Craig who could barely take his eyes off the cue cards to deliver a solid joke. 

The two best parts of the night came from the two fauxmercials. The first was a 50 year Bond girl celebration which highlighted all of the Bond girls that you ‘may not remember.’ The likes of which included Penny Marshall (I’m convinced this is Fred Armisen’s favorite character of his; it seems like he’ll do anything to put on that get-up), Diane Keaton, and Ellen (a fabulous Kate McKennon). This was fabulous—funny, good impressions, simple premise. 

The second fauxmercial was for the TV show Long Island Medium. Again, with Kate McKennon at the helm of this funny little treat, this totally worked. She nailed it. It poked fun just enough at the premise and delivery of the show to be really relatable and hilarious. I think McKennon is on her way to moving up the ranks quite fast, a la Kristen Wiig in her early days. 

The worst sketch of the night was one that featured several guys on a BBC show called ‘A Sorry Lot We Are.’ Oh it was AWFUL. None of the jokes landed—if there even were jokes, really—and the only person who was even remotely funny was Bill Hader (because he’s just the fucking best) and newcomer Aidy Bryant, who really killed it with her teeny tiny part. The rest was just absolutely atrocious. 

Weekend Update got into full-blown election mode, covering the recent debate ad nauseum. They really got all up on Obama’s terrible performance, naturally. But once they had gotten that out of their system, they had a few visitors. One was the Italian woman who was responsible for the terrible “restoration” of the ancient painting from the church, and the other was Mitt Romney’s favorite giant creature, Big Bird. Kate McKennon killed it was Cecilia Gimenez. Really. Big Bird’s appearance on the other hand? What a WASTE. If you’re going to have fucking Big Bird himself on Weekend Update, at least have him be funny! Some tongue-in-cheek jokes about Romney, some jabs at government, SOMETHING. He’s BIG BIRD AFTER ALL AND EVERYBODY LOVES HIM. Plus we all know those folks over at PBS can be quite hilarious when they want to be. But as Seth waved him off I was only left with one question: What was the point of THAT exactly? WASTE. 

Oh and I almost forgot that there was an MSNBC sketch about the debate too. Snooooooze. 

There was one really, truly bizarre sketch toward the end of the night that once again featured Fred Armisen in drag, this time as Daniel Craig’s rude girlfriend. They commence forcing their friends to watch them kiss and touch each other, making sure they see the heinous expressions on each other’s faces as they do so. It was kind of funny. But only kind of. 

Muse was one of the only high points of the entire night. Because A) Muse fucking rocks; B) Very few bands/singers sound as good live as Matt Bellamy and Muse; C) Very few people can also shred the shit out of guitar and melt my face off like Matt Bellamy. Their new album is fantastic, and they were fantastic last night. Just stellar. But would you expect anything else? 

Next week: Christina Applegate and Passion Pit!