Before last night, I was trying to remember the last time Ben Affleck hosted SNL. And while specifics wouldn’t come to mind, the only thing that did stick out was his inability read cue cards smoothly. I vaguely remembered that he was just plain awful at reading them. Flash forward to his 5th time hosting (I know, I can’t believe it either), and the story is no different. While he gives it everything he’s got, he’s still just a stammering, flubbing host throughout many of his sketches. 

That’s not to say that he didn’t go a good job despite that flaw. Last night’s SNL was actually pretty darn good. It was riotously funny at times, and hilariously poignant at others. We said goodbye to some dear friends, and I can’t help but be curious about the future of SNL now that they’ve left. 

The show started off on a great foot with the cold open, something I can’t say is always the case. Kenan Thompson killed it as a defiantly stupid Al Sharpton, and the result was a hilarious, short but sweet opening to a great show. 

Ben’s monologue was mediocre, but it was boosted by a lovely visit from his darling wife Jennifer Garner. I had already forgotten about the “love is work” comment or whatever he said during his Oscar acceptance speech, but the joke still played all right. I do think it would have been amazing if they had gotten a few more specials guests for him, though. 

The predictable Argo-spoof sketch was first out of the gate, and it was not bad! The gag that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had to say “park the car in Harvard yard” before every line to find the Boston accent was hysterical. And I won’t ruin the best punchline of the entire evening for you, so watch the sketch and see for yourself. 1000+ points to Ben Affleck for that one. 

The only fauxmerical of the night was BRILLIANT. It was for Xanax for Gay Summer Weddings. And aside from being crazy accurate, it was just plain funny. The stress that you feel from attending a perfect wedding, knowing that you can’t compete? There’s Xanax for Gay Summer Weddings for that. 

The only sketch that seemed very ill-placed and subpar was a Depression-era sketch that was about…..bad people? Prostitutes? I’m still note really sure, because it was so strange. It seemed like the type of one-off weirdo sketch that would show up at the end of the night. You can skip this one unless you want to see Ben Affleck’s Jimmy Stewart impression. (Like I said, you can probably skip it.) 

One of the funnier sketches of the night was about a New Beginners camp gay teens—you know, the ‘let’s make you straight’ camps. Ben Affleck was great as the camp’s head counselor who was obviously still gay. Also, Bobby Moynihan’s killer flamboyance was to die for. But the MVP was once again my favorite person on the show, Taran Killam. I thought they were going to take it a little bit farther than they did (I would have really liked to have seen those two kiss), but it still worked for me for the most part. (This one isn’t online yet.) 

Weekend Update was the obvious highlight of the night. The amazing, incomparable, brilliantly talented Amy Poehler made her way back to the Update desk for a quick REALLY?!?! segment with Seth. And then to the delight of literally every good human being on the planet, she stuck around for the rest of Update and reprised her role as Seth’s co-anchor. It was beyond enjoyable. 

But the biggest moment from Update was of course, the final visit and farewell sendoff for our dear Stefon. This farewell was, in a word, amazing. The whole bit was perfect for Stefon, perfect for Bill Hader, and perfect for the show. I don’t really want to spoil it for you, but know that while it’s hysterically funny, it’s also pointedly sentimental, but in the best possible way. Please, do yourself a favor and watch it now. 

Ben Affleck then treated us to the Spanish accent he’s been waiting to try out in a mildly funny sketch about faking his own death. The funniest part was really just hearing Affleck talk with that accent, because the actual plot of the sketch was pretty forgettable. 

So it got to be the end of the night, and things go really good. In a strange but side-splitting sketch about cops trying to wish their daughter/niece/sister/friend a happy engagement, the standout MVP was once again Taran Killam. The joke that all these men can’t vocalize their emotions was nothing new, but the way in which they all committed to it was great. But seriously, if you don’t laugh at Killam, there’s something really wrong with you. (This sketch isn’t available online yet.)

But the real money shot was another installment of Vanessa Bayer and Cecily Strong selling luxury items (in the past it was Swarovski crystals and champagne). This time around it was Hermes handbags and MAN was it funny. I don’t think they will ever be able to top the original Swarovski crystals, but this one was pretty good. And Ben Affleck was actually pretty solid in this one too. 

The night ended with another poignant farewell. Fred Armisen, Jason Sudeikis, Bill Hader, and Taran Killam all joined in song as a Brit punk group to sing “It’s Gonna Be A Lovely Day Today.” It was at first strange, and then sad, and then lovely, and then surprise! guest stars!, and then sad again. Armisen has been on the show for 11 years! That’s kind of crazy when you think that there are only like, 3 other people who have stayed on SNL longer. His farewell song was nice, but not as emotional as it could have been. 

I don’t like Kanye West so I barely watched his performances. So there. 

That’s it for this season! SNL is now in a state of transition; Hader and Armisen are out after a decade of amazing recurring characters and memorable impressions. Sudeikis, I fear, is soon to follow, and Seth Meyers will be out of there in 2014 when he succeeds Jimmy Fallon on Late Night. I think this gives Taran Killam the room he needs to really soar (as if he hasn’t already), and for the ladies to really get more opportunities. We’ll see what happens next season. 

It’s no “Motherlover,” that’s for sure. The trio released this new track as part of their “Wack Wednesdays” series, gearing up for the album release this summer by releasing a new song/video every Wednesday until the album drops. Check out the previous video (which is much better than the one above), “Spring Break Anthem” featuring James Franco and Zach Galifianakis. 

The Lonely Island will release their third studio album, The Wack Album, June 11. 

Writer/director Richard Curtis (Love, Actually, Notting  Hill) is at it again with the time-traveling rom-com About Time. 

The film stars Rachel McAdams as the girlfriend/sometimes love interest of Domhnall Gleeson, an adorable red-headed fox who just so happens to have the ability to time travel. 

Now if you’re thinking Rachel McAdams has already done the time traveling thing, just hold on to your butts—she has, but the difference here is that this one is going to be good. 

First of all, Domhnall Gleeson. Hello! He’s a ginger and he’s the son of Brendan Gleeson (Mad Eye Moody from the Harry Potter films). Secondly, BILL NIGHY. I’m sorry, but that fucker can do no wrong. He is the best. Thirdly, love me some Rachel McAdams. She’s made some questionable choices in the past couple of years (Morning Glory, anyone?), but this one looks solid. 

Not to mention the track record Curtis has—he’s clearly displayed his uncanny ability to tell sweet, meaningful stories about love and relationships, essentially becoming one of the only directors I would say is actually successful at romantic comedies nowadays. 

The trailer makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside, which is always a good sign. About TIme hits theaters this fall. 

Try to at least muffle the sounds of your weeping by crying into your faux-tattoo sleeve t-shirt. 

Bill Hader has officially announced his departure from Saturday Night Live,  with this weekend’s finale serving as his last episode. 

What’s that you say? I can’t hear you over my sobbing. 

Not that I am not surprised—I feel like Hader’s exit was inevtiable given his rising star quality and his ability to steal the show in minor supporting roles in comedy films. It’s just that I don’t waaanntttt him to leave! With Wiig out last season and Hader out this season, I only fear that Sudeikis and Armisen are on their way out as well, and then JESUS what will that mean for the show?? I mean for goodness sake they’ve been on SNL since 2003 and 2002, respectively. 

Sorry, what? I DON’T KNOW

I CAN’T

IT’S JUST ALL THE FEELS

And it’s Broadway veteran Cristin Milioti! 

Well? Is she what you thought she’d be? She’s adorable, right? 

Milioti is a Tony-nominated actress who has starred in the Broadway adaptation of the film Once, as well as appeared on shows like The Sopranos and 30 Rock (she’s baby-talking comdienne Abby!!). 

Although it has been agonizing listening to Ted whine and waiting for the mother to finally be revealed, I thought it was handled pretty well. Very little fanfare, very little screen time, and just enough anticipation. And thank god, because if I had to see Ted cry over Robin for one more second, I might just strangle someone. 

And kudos to HIMYM for not casting this role with some big name celebrity. After all this time I really like that it’s just a lower profile actress. And she seems just like Ted’s type. But PS—in the photo below, doesn’t she sort of look like a cross between Ted and Lily? I mean like, she really looks like she could be related to Alyson Hannigan.

Anyway, here’s hoping season 9 actually sees her integrated with the cast and allows us to witness at least one happy year for Ted before the series ends. Watch the video below to see the big reveal! 

No. 

Like, no. I just think this is going to be a huge flop. I will gladly eat crow if that is not the case, but these types of things so rarely translate to successful serialized versions, and I fear this won’t be any difference. And I can’t imagine that even ABC has the budget to make this show anything but hokey as far as intense battles and never-ending bizarro superheroes are concerned. 

Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD premieres later this year. 

WHAT. 

The only question remains: which of them will win an Oscar? 

All kidding aside, this film looks pretty good. And by pretty good, I mean it could go one of two ways: It could go the route of exceptional storytelling, electrifying performances, and direction to die for, all culminating in an award-worthy ensemble. OR it could be one of those films that tries too hard to be emotionally erratic and heartbreaking in the hopes that its overall melancholiness will trick viewers into thinking it’s a quality film, all while the overbearing performances by over-the-top actors ramble on in the background.             

Either way, I want to give it a go. My hope is it’s the first type of filme, because frankly, Julia Roberts needs a hit. (And I’m not talking that Eat, Pray, Love kind of shit.) 

First things first. I CANNOT put into words how much I have been anticipating this new MJF show. Of course, like any red blooded American, I love Michael J Fox immensely. And if there’s one thing I love more than Marty McFly himself, it’s quick-witted, self-aware snark. And this show has both things going for it, so sign me the fuck up. The Michael J. Fox Show airs Thursdays this fall. 

Now let’s get to the next big show on the list: Dracula. As if this vampire tale hasn’t been told enough times already, now NBC is continuing its decision to embrace the macabre by adding Dracula to its fall lineup. This re-telling stars Jonathan Rhys Meyers as the titular vamp, and Jessica De Gouw as the infamous Mina. The trailer is intriguing enough I suppose, but having seen the track record supernatural (and period piece, to boot!) shows have had on network television (save for the occasional uber-popular show like Supernatural or Buffy), I can’t help but fear this show won’t last. Check out the trailer and decide for yourself if this vampire saga reads more cheesy than interesting. Dracula airs Friday this fall (yeah, the metaphorical graveyard of TV now has a new undead partner. Destiny.) 

Beautiful. Brilliant. Bluth.

Dear god we may all just break Netflix on May 26th, but it will have been so worth it. 

While I think this is a solid choice and an incredible opportunity for Meyers, I can’t help but lament that no woman was really considered for this hosting gig. I would have loved to see the landscape of late night tv change just a bit. Alas, that is not the case this time around. Nevertheless, hooray for Seth!! I’m sure this means his inevitable departure from SNL, so now the guessing game begins as to who will succeed him on Weekend Update. Any suggestions?

The anticipation has been high—nay, practically fever pitch—for the return of SNL darling and character MVP Kristen Wiig to the famous SNL stage. 

Very reminiscent of Tina Fey’s memorable return to host, Wiig’s return was high energy, high hijinks, and a whole lotta fun. It’s always a guessing game when old SNL players return to host—will they reprise their most famous roles? Will they only do one? Or will they ignore them all together, deciding instead to leave those memorable sketches back where they belong? If you watched it last night, you’ll know it was practically an SNL loyalist’s dream grab bag of the best Wiig characters, and I couldn’t have been more delighted! The episode was funny overall, and pretty good, even if only for the sheer novelty of seeing all of our favorite Wiig characters again. 

The cold open was forgettable and sloppy, so we’ll just quickly skip over that and get to the good stuff. 

Wiig’s monologue, like so many these days, was an elaborately choreographed and hilarious musical number. It reeks of the same notes that SNL has pulled out before (Will Ferrell, specifically), but I still liked it. Coming home for SNL is always a treat. 

Aside from the returning characters Wiig pulled out of her arsenal (which we’ll get to), last night was rife with delightful fauxmercials. The first one was a spot-on ad for 1-800-Flowers, just in time for Mother’s Day, of course. Kate McKinnon is brilliantly tacky as the mom everyone knows and loves. 

The second one was a hilarious take on the increasingly wacky premises for kid shows on channels like Disney and Nickelodeon. It hit every beat perfectly, and the premise—“Aw Nuts! Mom’s a Ghost!”— was hysterical. 

Triumphant return numbero uno came from another installment of our favorite SNL soap, The Californians. Wiig uncharacteristically broke character more than a few times, but it was the best! This was an especially ridiculous Californians, and with the addition of Maya Rudolph, it was practically perfect. 

And did you really think they’d bring Wiig back and NOT have her on The Lawrence Welk Show? OF COURSE NOT. So here’s that tasty little nugget of weird for you. 

Oh, and wait for it….wait for it….Target Lady! Yes, everyone’s favorite cashier graced us last night in what I think was probably the strangest one yet. It was like she had been gone for vacation only to come back to work at Target more wound up than ever. Fitting, I guess. 

Towards the end of the night (as usual), things got weird. Wiig and Cecily Strong were comically asinine cougars in a mildly funny sketch about taking two 12 year olds on a date. Money shot: Taran Killam’s 30 second laugh riot. 

Then Wiig, Strong, and one of my favorite new additions Aidy Bryant auto-tuned their asses off in a hilariously accurate sketch about real hosuewive-type broads who make songs about nothing. YOU’RE ON BLAST!

Acupuncture gone wrong was the premise of one of my favorite sketches of the night. Was it completely ridiculous? Yes. Was it cheap sight gag comedy? Of course. But I loved it because it was so reminiscent of old school SNL. Remember the polar bear sketch with Chris Farley, Adam Sandler, Tim Meadows, Jay Mohr, and Norm? It reminded me so much of that sketch that it warmed my heart based on that familiar feeling alone. (I mean just LOOK at that thumbnail!) 

Weekend Update was a little off for the most part, that was at least until Kat and Garth made an appearance! The Fred Armisen-Kristen Wiig duo that specializes in unrehearsed, created on the fly songs about holidays is always welcome, and last night was no exception. Toward the end of Wiig’s SNL tenure, the sketch seemed tired and overdone, but it was a good choice for her return. It wasn’t the funniest edition of the sketch, but it was funny nonetheless. Love. 

Vampire Weekend sounded so lovely! They are one of my favorite bands, and they always sound just so damn delightful and cheery and happy every time they perform. Solid performances all around. 

Overall, good return Wiig! Let’s hope this is only the beginning of her returns. 

Next week is the season finale, with host Ben Affleck (!!), and Kanye West (blech). 

And because I was busy last week I did not get the chance to recap the Zach Galifianakis episode. However, I wanted to share with you my favorite sketches from that night as a token of my apologies: 

Surprise! NBC has pulled a 180 and decided to actually renew Community for a 15-episode 5th season. 

At this point, do you even care? After everything NBC has put this show through, and after everything that has happened internally at the show (Dan Harmon’s exit, the Chevy Chase feud, multiple writers leaving), the show is less than great. It’s practically a skeleton of what a show pretending to be Community thinks it should sort of be like when practicing a scene for an audition for a Community-tribute show. It’s not the same whatsoever. The only episode this season that was actually great and very much like the old Community was the body switiching episode written by Jim Rash (The Dean). 

I never in a million years expected NBC would actually go through with renewing a show that they so very clearly hate. After the shenanigans they put the show through last season by postponing and rescheduling the premiere date multiple times over, you’d think they’d just give up at this point. Especially since the show pretty much has, anyway. 

I’m glad/not glad about this. As someone who has adamantly supported and loved this show from the get-go, I would rather have had the show end on a relatively good note than see a 5th season just phoned in. But whatever.  It’s back! Yay?